It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
