I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
