and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
