Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize