my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
