the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize