your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
