I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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