I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
