Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
