There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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