god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
