everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
