why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
