My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize