counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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