I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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