Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
