No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
