I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
