Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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