NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
