Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize