"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
