im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
