Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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