just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
