hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
