but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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