I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
