THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
