come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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