They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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