Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
