After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
