I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize