so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
