Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
