He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
