is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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