it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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