Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I lost the right to judge tonight
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
