first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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