im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How's work?
Spinning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
