we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
worst night to have a conscience
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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