I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
