the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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