you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
