I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
