What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
