Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
