we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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