Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
