My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's rum buckets o'clock
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
