Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
