You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
