this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you never un-have a 4some
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
