Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
