I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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