He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
