i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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