fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
