God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
