This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
